My website and videos are taking a break and/or complete for now. Still seeking an outlet I am thinking about publicly journaling here again for a while.
As a kid playing video games, you feel invincible. You can easily defeat hundreds of characters and with a little practice, a boss. But the characters in the program respawn every time the game is copied and restarted, multiplying and not really dying but appearing to die to the player while easily continuing to respawn and multiply for generations outliving the real player and all of their relatives.
I saw a picture of 30 eagles bunched together and they looked SLIGHTLY more like a dock infestation than the majestic giant I saw on the side of the road in the country once eating a deer (it flew over my hood and its wings were like the size of my car!) Making me wonder about how one of something carrys with it an invisible added sense of value and appreciation.
Reminding myself to not say things in order to appear a certain way. It seems like a low self esteem overcompensates by telling this or saying that to imply you are greater or better at something that can come off as ego, arrogance or condescension when the source is often feeling that levels them to equal.