Somehow

I still will need enough to get some space and time to work seriosly again. 

I have big ideas.

First comission back!

 

Using the wayback machine archives of my freelance illustration site, I was able to recreate it. I used an old i3 laptop and one of my old wacom tablets to sketch out the comp layout and write my proposal. The deposit will pay for a new computer that will be more than capable (photos soon).

Not to betray my studies in linux and low budget prodction, but I am very excited to get back online with a good machine.

VR gallery will once again be open

I will actually be able to game again

The commissions will help my family

I will once again be able to make videos (currently doing video work on mobile.)

Will blog direcly on the site.

Will eventually have office or home space. (instead of library)

Yipppie!

New life

Secured two new projects. Was able to rebuild my site (mybookillusteator) in html, bypassing wordpress entirely.

With this start I am getting a mac pro quad i7 laptop to complete my first projects.

The next ones will pay for an even better computer and hosting for the VR gallery. This will incude blogging directly on incoprea.com again.

Back to reality

Back to hobby mode for my personal art. 

It's ok bc I learned what to do. I can write (first notebook drafts then revisions online) I can paint (oil on panel with 'safe' solvents) I can make music (I have moog snyth +misc. equipt to make and edit my own music) 

Going back full time to creating childrens books and freelance illustration.

https://mybookillustrator.com/

When I have enough $, I will re-open the online virtual gallery, continue to build and try to make some unique ai artist rssidents.

Defeated.

Disheartened. 

Though It is no responsibility of anyone to appreciate another's work. 

I abandoned my illustration business. 

I used my savings to create art for a year but was unable to create a revenue source, though I tried every option. I did not want to spend time or money marketing that could be better spent on quality and originality. That coupled with every attempt to discover and mediate meaning. I sold no art at either of the shows I displayed my oils at. 

I see my work as all the same, I love it the way it is and when people buy a few or pick through, I feel that they are seeing what the general public would find most appealing and feel like locking it all up in storage is the beast chance at persevering whatever value I may have left (about 60 paintings)

My autobiography is complete and published in in my store, zero sales, (including myself) I was really interested in audio, but that to, seems endlessly intolerably less than silent but negative responses to my work. I look at it, the audio, the paintings, the drawings and videos and I love them, but maybe in representing meaning I have told a story to close and personal that has little to no relevance to you. and why should it.

I guess my gamble was in being common and in having open struggles, in being hungry, losing dignity, in that alone I thought I would easily relate. and maybe someday I will. 

for now. 

I think I will have to go back to making art for other peoples projects. I was well paid then.

I intend to continue to trickle audio and video work as I find time. I will also continue to write. Ideally, I would love to get back to the point where I can get my virtual gallery back online and populate it with about 8 customized 'free willed' ai residents that would create unique work in 3D and 2D mediums. But that will take me a while to get back to.

It was fun. I enjoyed talking to the void endlessly for years. 

Once I am re-established, the Virtual Gallery will go live (publicly accessible) and I will blog directly on the site avian. (If you know how to use an .oar file, you can download the current version here )

 Journaling in the cave day

free high quality chords;

https://freepats.zenvoid.org/